I can imagine the awkward conversation in the Clemens household today.
Rocket: Hello, honey. I was talking to some folks today. They asked about you.
Debbie: Roger, you were talking to congressmen about steroids. You didn’t tell them about me, did you?
Rocket: Me? Sweetheart! Never. I’ll tell you what, though. That Andy Pettitte sure does have a big mouth.
Debbie: Oh great. You are in so much trouble.
Rocket: Well, there’s more. Remember the 2000 World Series?
Debbie: Sure. That’s the one you won, unlike that disaster against the White Sox.
Rocket: Yeah, that’s the one. They had all kinds of questions. But I was pretty smart. I told them that you said, “Wow, how about that Mike Piazza!” and I got all confused and thought you said, “Now, throw a bat at Mike Piazza!”
The Debbie made him do it!
Debbie: You didn’t! Now that’s my fault, too? Am I on the hook for the 2004 All-Star Game meltdown, too?
Rocket: I thought....I thought....
Debbie: See that’s the problem, Roger. You know you’re not supposed to go thinking for yourself. Why didn’t you listen to Rusty? What has he doing when all this was happening?
Rocket: He kept muttering, “I have a blockhead for a client.” And that’s just not true because Chuck Knoblauch has a different lawyer.
Debbie: Roger. Just stop talking.
Rocket: By the way, the Astros, Blue Jays and Red Sox all called. They said it’s OK with them if I want to wear a Yankee cap on the Hall of Fame plaque. That's just swell of them because I have so much on my mind right now and can't make big decisions like that.
Debbie: I don't think that's gonna be a problem.